


you are my sun (and I your moon)

by arashianelf



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, M/M, minghao is a photography major
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-08
Updated: 2016-04-08
Packaged: 2018-06-01 00:35:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,523
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6493957
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/arashianelf/pseuds/arashianelf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>It’s not as startling a thought as people might think it is, dying, that is.</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	you are my sun (and I your moon)

**Author's Note:**

> The names of classes were taken from various university websites. Also, I have no idea what procedures for chemotherapy really are so whatever’s in here may not be actually true. The names of the B-boy moves were taken from Wikipedia as well.
> 
> This took me four months to write and maybe two months of that were spent hitting a wall. because my writer’s block was so bad it wasn’t even a block anymore it was a wall. and also I was so busy with the start of school that everything got pushed aside for school but I finally managed to find the time to finish this aren’t you guys proud of me also someone bless my soul this is the longest one-shot I’ve written.

“Thanks for your help, Jeonghannie-hyung,” Minghao says as they walk out of Pledis University’s administrative building. “I’m always happy to help, you know that,” Jeonghan replies.

“I know you made me promise to keep my distance in the six months you’ll be studying here unless it’s an emergency, but I’ll be keeping an eye on you, so you better watch out and behave,” Jeonghan reminds the younger who sighs and replies, “Yes, Jeonghan-hyung.”

“That aside, how does it feel being an university student?” Jeonghan nudges Minghao playfully. Minghao grips the camera slung over his neck with both hands tightly.

“Like all my dreams have come true.”

-

Minghao has looked forward to this day for a very long time. After being surrounded by whitewashed walls for so long, the chance to get out and enjoy life for six months is one gladly accepted. He clutches his camera with both hands, walking around campus. The clicking sound of the camera shutter can occasionally be heard as autumn winds blow the leaves off the trees around him.

He had decided to dye his hair a bright blonde, and is clad in a thick black sweater hoodie and jeans. As more and more people start to stream out onto the courtyard, the Chinese boy subconsciously raises his hand to clasp the pendant around his neck tightly.

He snaps a photo of the crowd of people emerging from various buildings, and notices Jeonghan’s familiar silverish-purple long hair amidst the crowd, talking and laughing with a guy with jet-black hair, another with bright orange hair and one with dark brown hair.

Smiling to himself, he starts walking again, waving to Jeonghan when the elder finally spots him. Jeonghan doesn’t wave back, choosing to beam brightly at him instead, and Minghao makes a heart sign to show his gratitude once more.

Jeonghan laughs out loud, and Minghao happily walks away as behind him, Jeonghan’s friends turn to see what he is laughing at.

“Jeonghan-ah, what are you laughing at?” Jisoo asks when the older breaks out into laughter. “Nothing much,” Jeonghan says, smiling to himself as he watches Minghao walk away. The other three turn to look in the direction that he is staring at, but can only see someone clad in black walking away.

“Who’s that?” Seungcheol asked, but Jeonghan only shakes his head, smiling to himself and refusing to reply. “Anyway, what do you guys want to eat for lunch?” Jeonghan asks the other three. They soon find themselves deep in debate on what to eat as they disagree on each other’s food choices loudly.

-

Minghao’s first class is called Photography and the City, and he is greatly enjoying it so far. The teacher, having been informed of his unique situation, has been wonderful to him, not treating him any differently from the other students despite him being a special case.

The class is engaging, and thus far he has already made a friend, called Choi Hansol. He is a Creative Writing major, with a minor in Photography, which is why he is taking this class. Hansol’s a bit eccentric at times, Minghao soon finds out, but overall he is a very amusing person.

After the class, he has a short break, and is introduced to Hansol’s exuberant friend, Boo Seungkwan, who is a Music major. Seungkwan alone is easily excitable, but him and Hansol together makes a weird pair that somehow complement each other. Soon after, they have to split ways as Minghao has another class to get to, so he waves goodbye to his new friends and heads off to find his next class.

After all his classes, Minghao comes out of the lecture theatre to see Jeonghan waiting for him. “Jeonghannie-hyung!” Minghao greets happily. “Hey, Myungho-ah. I’m here to bring you for your usual. How was your day?” Jeonghan asks. The walk is accompanied by Minghao’s rambling as he describes his first day of university to the elder.

“…and then Hansol introduced me to Seungkwan! He’s a Music major, isn’t that cool?” Minghao takes a breath. “I know Seungkwan. I’ve worked with him when he volunteers,” Jeonghan says. Minghao narrows his eyes at the elder. “You didn’t,” Minghao accuses.

Jeonghan stares back innocently. “Did what?” he asks, clearly knowing what Minghao is trying to ask. “You asked Seungkwan to keep an eye on me, didn’t you? And Hansol too? Is that why they made friends with me?” Minghao queries.

Seeing the growing disappointment in Minghao’s eyes, Jeonghan quickly explains, “No, no, I didn’t ask Seungkwan to do that! Anyway, I’ve only heard stories about Hansol from Seungkwan, and Seungkwan only knows you from what I tell him.”

“You sure?” Minghao asks. “Yes, I’m sure. I only mentioned that one of the patients I was helping take care of during my internship could finally fulfil their dream and come to university as a Photography major, and I guess he connected the dots when Hansol introduced you to him,” Jeonghan confirmed, sighing in relief as Minghao relaxed.

“Can I at least introduce my friends to you one day?” Jeonghan asks after a while. “We’ll see,” is all Minghao replies.

-

Minghao sends Jeonghan an exasperated look as Seungkwan babbles on about god knows what with Soonyoung and Seokmin, a Dance major and Music major respectively. It has only been three weeks since Minghao first stepped into university, and somehow he has ended up meeting all of Jeonghan’s friends, and then some.

It all started when Seungkwan dragged Minghao and Hansol over to chat with Jeonghan when the younger had spotted the long-haired male across the courtyard. Jeonghan, who had been talking to a blonde that Minghao would be introduced to as Soonyoung, could only nod as Seungkwan talked about one thing or another.

It only gets worse when Soonyoung starts up a conversation with Seungkwan, which ends up with Jihoon, a Composition major, sitting grumpily next to the group of them with headphones on and laptop running, Seokmin talking to Chan, who is also a Dance major, both of which had been called over by Soonyoung, Minghao and Hansol chatting quietly with Jeonghan, and the long-haired student’s three friends, Jisoo, Seungcheol and Junhui. Mingyu and Wonwoo, both Creative Writing majors, are discussing something in low tones off at one side.

So far, Minghao has learnt that Jisoo is a Music major, Seungcheol a Psych major, and Junhui is a Dance major. Given that Jeonghan himself is a Nursing major, he really wants to know how the older had found these friends.

Minghao is talking animatedly to Jeonghan when Hansol asks, “Junhui-hyung, what’s that around your neck?” The latter finishes tying his shoelace before he removes the necklace around his neck to show it to Hansol. Minghao glances over for a split second, only for his brain to screech to a halt.

Lying innocently in the palm of Jun’s hand is one half of the yinyang symbol, the black gleaming in the sunlight. Minghao doesn’t move until Jeonghan calls his name repeatedly, and jumps when he finally hears Jeonghan.

He continues with the conversation distractedly, paying more attention to Junhui and Hansol’s conversation as the elder explains the meaning of the necklace.

“This is one half of the _yinyang_ symbol,” Junhui elaborates, “ _Yin_ is the black side with the white dot in it, and _yang_ is the white side with the black dot in it. _Yin_ is characterized as slow, soft, yielding, diffuse, cold, wet, and passive; and is associated with water, earth, the moon, femininity, and nighttime. _Yang_ , by contrast, is fast, hard, solid, focused, hot, dry, and active; and is associated with fire, sky, the sun, masculinity and daytime. Well, most of the time.”

“Then why do you only have half of this symbol?” Hansol inquires, and Junhui laughs. Minghao can’t help but notice that it carries a tinge of sadness.

“I met this boy when I was a child, and we were good friends. When I had to move to Korea, he gave me this half, while he kept the other half, as a symbol of our friendship. I’m planning to go back to China soon, to see if I can find him again. After all, I made him a promise,” Junhui explains.

Minghao excuses himself quickly, rushing to the toilet. He ends up in a cubicle, clutching the pendant around his neck as sobs wrack through him. He removes the necklace, clutching the pendant in his hands. When he opens his palm, the white half of the yinyang symbol stares back at him.

-

Minghao is four when he’s approached by a boy a few years older than him. It turns out that the boy, whom introduces himself as Xiao Hui, is six, two years older than him. Minghao introduces himself as Xiao Hao, and they soon become the best of friends.

When Xiao Hui is ten, however, he tells Minghao that he’s moving to Korea because his dad found a better job opportunity there. Minghao is heartbroken, and on the day before he leaves, Minghao hands him one half of a couple necklace he begged his mother to buy.

“You’ll always be the _yang_ to my _yin_ , so take the _yin_ half so you won’t ever forget me. I’ll come find you one day, so watch out!” Minghao says tearfully, pushing the necklace into the older boy’s hand.

His dreams of travelling to Korea one day and finding his childhood friend are dashed when he finds himself admitted to the hospital when he’s fifteen after he collapses at dance practice, and is told that he has an aggressive form of cancer, and that he would have only a few years more to live had it not been discovered in its early stages.

He is quickly put through treatment, and spends two years surrounded by white walls and the sterile smell of hospitals. He is happily declared to be in remission when he’s seventeen. However, his happiness is shortlived when a year later, he collapses once again when he’s on his way back home with his friends.

His doctor tells him solemnly that his cancer has come back, and that maybe he should consider going to Korea, where they have significantly more advanced technology and ways to cure his form of cancer. His parents agree, and Minghao soon finds himself on a plane headed towards the place he’d always wanted to go - South Korea.

The new treatment in Korea helps Minghao a lot, and he’s only spent a year undergoing treatment when he’s offered a choice. There’s a new type of treatment coming up, and they want to test it on Minghao. After much consideration, Minghao agrees, with one condition. He gets to take six months to himself with the permission of his doctor, to be enrolled in a university, just to experience university life for a while.

His doctor agrees, but only if Minghao reports back to the hospital every day to undergo his old treatment, just to ensure that the cancer doesn’t worsen. The hospital is Minghao’s home, as he doesn’t have an apartment in Korea, and it is where he studies, eats, and sleeps. He makes friends with the nurses and doctors, including Jeonghan, who is interning.

-

Staring at the _yang_ half of the symbol in his palm, Minghao reminisces the moment where he was old enough to realise that he should have asked his childhood friend for his full name, and laughs wetly to himself when he realises he knows the older boy’s full name now.

He wants so desperately to go up to Junhui and show him the necklace, tell him that he’s the one Junhui’s looking for, but he can’t bring himself to do so. He only has six months in the university, and the new treatment that’s coming up only has a 23% chance of survival. He can’t let Junhui suffer through knowing that he might die. He takes deep breaths to try and calm himself down, and makes up his mind.

-

When the first envelope comes, there’s a letter and a discount coupon for the cafe on campus. Junhui opens the letter and reads it, but all it says is “You’ve been looking slightly tired. Get a drink, the discount is on me.” It’s not signed, and Junhui thinks for a while before shrugging. He wants a cup of coffee anyway, so it doesn’t hurt to use a discount coupon. Besides, he’s a _university student_ , of course he wouldn’t give up on getting a discount and saving money.

The second one comes when he is cramming for an upcoming test in the library, when he takes a break and goes to the toilet to freshen up. He returns to another envelope on top of his notes, and he opens it to find three things: a stack of post-it notes, a Polaroid of a bed, and a note. The message of the note is ‘Good luck for your test! Here are some post-its to help you with your studies. I’d rather you take a break and sleep, though. It’s almost midnight!’

Junhui looks around, but can’t seem to find anyone that could have placed the envelope on the table. Shrugging, he keeps the envelope and resolves to study for another half an hour before he calls it a day.

From behind a bookshelf out of Junhui’s range of sight, Minghao smiles to himself.

-

Minghao walks back home with Jeonghan, chatting amiably about everything and anything, but mostly about the showcase that Junhui, Soonyoung and Chan had put up just for them. If you ask anyone else, he sounds wistful, but no one did, and so it is a topic left untouched, one of the many things Minghao had to give up.

As they walk into the hospital, Minghao waves at Jeonghan as he goes to get ready for his rounds, and greets the nurses cheerfully as he makes his way to the room that the doctors had so considerately set aside for him during his stay in Korea.

Changing into the familiar hospital gown, he lies down on the bed as his favourite nurse attaches an IV drip for him in preparation for the treatment he will be going through for the day. Sighing, he takes out the work that he would need to do for his upcoming tutorials. He might as well do some work while he can before he is incapacitated for the rest of the day.

A while later, Minghao is brought out from his work-induced focus by the entrance of his doctor. He packs up his things and removes his pendant from around his neck, placing it into the bedside drawer that already contains various things precious to him (one of Jeonghan’s hair bands, the amulet his mother gave him for good luck, the jade pendant that was his paternal grandmother’s) before following the doctor out of the room, pulling his IV drip with him.

Two hours later, he returns back to his room, shuffling along tiredly. He eats a small dinner and falls asleep soon after. He dreams of dancing on a big stage, with the friends he made front row and center, cheering for him. He dreams of dancing with Junhui, Soonyoung and Chan, garnering a standing ovation from their audience.

It’s a nice dream.

-

When Junhui, Soonyoung and Chan hear that Minghao used to dance, they immediately ask him to show them some moves. They are all in the dance studio, all thirteen of them, scattered around the room. Unsure if his body can take the pressure of his b-boying, he glances at Jeonghan worriedly. Jeonghan is frowning slightly, but he nods in acquiescence. Brightening, Minghao says, “Bring it on.” and allows Soonyoung to choose a song.

Nodding his head to the heavy bass in the song, Minghao loses himself in the song, and tries out all sorts of tricks and moves that he hasn’t been allowed to do since before he came to Korea, knowing that this is the only time he’ll be able to do this.

He does a flip successfully, before doing a knee drop and launching into a sweep drop. He follows that up with a downrock, before doing another sweep drop and standing up as he stops turning. As the next bar of the song starts, he launches into a series of different moves, and eventually comes to a halt, panting and sweating heavily.

Everyone is looking at him with their jaws dropped and eyes wide open. There is absolute silence as the song ends for about five seconds before the entire room erupts in sound. They are all complimenting him for how well he danced, even Jeonghan as the older scans him worriedly.

He flashes a thumbs-up at Jeonghan, and turns to go sit down against a wall, but is stopped in his tracks when Chan asks innocently, “Why aren’t you a Dance major, Myungho-hyung? You dance really well!”

Minghao lets the sorrow he feels at the question to fill his face for a second, before plastering a smile on his face and turning around to reply, “I like photography more, so I decided to major in it. Dancing is just a hobby of mine.” He continues walking towards a wall and sinks down heavily, before giving up and just lying down on the floor.

Jeonghan comes to check on him once the others are once again back to whatever they were doing before they were awed by Minghao’s prowess in dancing. “I’m fine, Jeonghan-hyung. I just needed to rest for a while,” Minghao says softly as Jeonghan sits down next to his head. “I don’t think you should do any more dancing, Myungho-ah,” Jeonghan says after a while.

“I know I can’t. I don’t even think I can any more,” Minghao says bitterly. He misses the days where he could just dance all day without a care in the world. The moment he was diagnosed with cancer, he was immediately banned from doing anything too strenuous, one of which was, of course, dancing, which got him extremely upset.

He’s accepted it as a sacrifice he has to make if he wants to permanently stay in remission after the new therapy is tested. But that doesn’t mean he isn’t still bitter about not being able to do the thing he loves the most.

-

The third letter comes just before a showcase the Arts faculty is putting up. The Dance majors are either working in groups or doing a solo performance for it, and Junhui has two performances lined up, one with Soonyoung and Chan, the other a solo performance. He, however, has no idea what he’s going to do for his solo performance, leaving the group performance in Soonyoung’s reliable hands.

He finds it taped to one of the wall-length mirrors in the dance studio that he booked for practice, which means that whoever this mysterious sender was, they knew him well enough to know when he had booked the room, and what time he had booked it for. Frowning, he heads back out to look at both sides of the hallway, seeing no one. Sighing, he goes back into the studio and opens the letter.

In it, he finds another note and a Polaroid of a stage. In fact, Junhui thinks, looking closer at the Polaroid, it’s the stage that he’s going to be performing on in three weeks’ time - it’s one of the university’s performance theatres. Smiling, he reads the note. “I heard you’re having some trouble with finding a song for your solo performance. At the bottom of this paper will be a list of songs I think should be good for you to come up with something to dance to. Good luck! The stage waits for you.”

As stated in the letter, there is a list of songs for him to consider. Junhui takes his phone out and starts searching for the first song on the list. Hopefully he’ll be able to find a song to work with amongst these few that his mysterious sender had suggested to him.

The showcase goes perfectly, and Junhui’s solo performance features two of the songs on the list. Minghao beams with pride as he watches the showcase with the rest of their group of friends.

-

Minghao has good days and bad days with the treatment he’s going through, and he’s used to it. He’s lucky in the sense that he has a lot more good days than bad days, but when the bad days come, they’re bad. And of course, it’s the day after the showcase that Minghao wakes up feeling like absolute shit, the hospital bustling with activity.

He knows that it’s a mistake to do so, but he gets up and goes for his classes anyway. He has a paper that he absolutely needs to turn in, nevermind that the lecturer will be understanding enough to give him extra time if he really needs it. He’s not an invalid, he doesn’t need to be coddled.

Three hours later, he’s regretting his decision. He’s currently locked away in one of the campus toilet cubicles, puking his lungs out and generally feeling like absolute shit. He has a migraine, and he’s pretty sure he has a fever, what with the way he’s shivering. He knows Jeonghan is in class now, and doesn’t want to bother him, and hence makes the brilliant idea to remain where he is for the rest of the day until Jeonghan is done.

When his group of friends meet up when they have a common break between lectures, they quickly notice Minghao’s absence, and bombard his phone with messages. Minghao breaks out of his feverish stupor with the incessant buzzing of his phone, and picks up when he sees that it’s Jeonghan.

“Minghao!” Jeonghan sounds frantic with worry. Minghao can hear their friends around the older, clamouring to know if Minghao is alright, why isn’t he in school today, is he sick? Jeonghan shushes everyone, listening to Minghao’s ragged breathing.

“Bad day?” he asks gently, once he realises what’s going on. Minghao wants to reply, he really does, but what’s supposed to come out as a 'yes’ comes out in a pained moan instead, and Minghao realises that he’s even worse off than his usual.

“Where are you? Please tell me you’re resting in your room, Minghao,” Jeonghan says desperately, already knowing the answer. Minghao finally surfaces from his feverish haze enough to relay his location, and Jeonghan is off like a bullet, with firm instructions for everyone else to stay put and not follow him.

Jeonghan doesn’t burst into the toilet, but it’s a close thing. He knows Minghao cannot stand loud sounds and bright lights right now, and hence whispers to the locked cubicle he stands in front. The emptiness of the toilet allows his voice to echo loud enough for Minghao to hear him, and the lock slides open with a 'snick’.

Jeonghan opens the cubicle door only to find a miserable, pained Minghao, clutching at his head. “Oh, Minghao,” he breathes. Luckily, he’s prepared for this. He digs through Minghao’s bag and finds a thick piece of cloth stuffed into a small pocket just for times like this, and ties it around his eyes, acting as a blindfold.

Minghao sobs in relief as the lights stops stabbing into his head, and Jeonghan helps him up slowly. “I’ll call Doc Hwang, okay? He’ll send someone to pick you up,” Jeonghan whispers, and feels Minghao nod weakly. He makes the call and Doc Hwang promises to send Minghao’s favourite nurse.

The older thanks him gratefully, ensuring that Minghao is fine until their ride comes. Both his and Minghao’s phones buzz incessantly from their friends’ worry, and Jeonghan switches off Minghao’s, making a note to remind him later.

Jeonghan’s phone is set to silent, and he switches between making sure that Minghao is not in too much pain and staring at his phone, waiting for the message to come in telling him that their ride is here.

Finally, the message comes, and Jeonghan helps Minghao slowly make his way to the car. Minghao is still clutching his head in pain, and is quickly brought to his room upon reaching the hospital and administered some morphine.

After that, he’s knocked out quickly, and Jeonghan looks upon the sleeping figure worriedly. Sighing, he sends out a mass message to their friends saying that Minghao’s fine and just needs a few days of uninterrupted rest, and sits down on the small sofa that the nurses brought in for Minghao about half a year ago.

Seriously, it was like the nurses treated him like their own child. He takes out his notes, settling in to wait for Minghao to wake up so that he can see how the younger is doing.

-

Two weeks after that horrible day, Minghao realises that it’s been three months since he first joined Pledis University - he’s halfway through fulfilling one of his dreams. His doctor and the nurses on shift surprises him with a cupcake, saying that he deserves it, and Minghao eats it with relish.

He borrows one of the nurses’ laptops to Skype with his parents, just to make sure that they are coping well, which they reassure him that they are. They are earning enough money to support themselves and Minghao, they tell him proudly.

Minghao smiles at them, and they exchange 'I love you’s before hanging up. Minghao has missed conversing in his native language. Junhui is Chinese, but they’ve always spoken in Korean.

Minghao is happy, but sad at the same time. If the first three months passed this fast, who knows how fast the next three months will pass. He resolves to spend time with all the friends he has made throughout the past three months, and makes sure to carry his camera everywhere with him so he can take photos for remembrance.

The photo scrapbook he started soon after he joined Pledis University is slowly filled with photos from the first two months of his time at Pledis University. He has to get a new one to put in the photos he took from the third month onwards, and looks forward to filling a third one by the time he has to leave. He looks through the first finished scrapbook, smiling intermittently at the memories that some of the photos bring up.

He puts the scrapbooks away and goes to the cafeteria to find his favourite serving lady, who he knows will give him a cup of Jello every time she sees him, because he’s 'stick thin’, according to her.

-

The days pass quickly, and Minghao’s scrapbooks are slowly filled up. He takes as many photos as he can of everyone, of the events that occur at Pledis University, of the changing seasons, and most especially of Junhui. He has been paying close attention to Junhui - has to, if he wants to play his role of secret helper to him.

He knows the signs when Junhui is stressed, when he’s exhausted, when he’s really excited about something, when he’s upset, when he’s worried, you name it, Minghao probably can tell you what to look out for. He knows Junhui’s favourite food, which in fact hasn’t changed since he knew him, wonders why Junhui’s major is Dance and minor is Theatre Studies when he knows Junhui loves theatre more than he loves dance, as his childhood dream was to become an actor.

Jeonghan knows that it’s him doing all of this for Junhui, knows why he’s doing it, but Jeonghan is also sworn to secrecy no matter how much he wants to tell Junhui. He gets most of his information on Junhui these days from Jeonghan, who tells him with the saddest smile on his face, but Minghao refuses to acknowledge it.

Junhui has been growing curiouser and curiouser about who the person was to know what he needed at the exact times the letters were sent to him, but Jeonghan refuses to spill, even though he has hinted that he knows who the person is. For some reason, Jeonghan always looks sad when he says that, but try as he might, Jun cannot learn anything from the long-haired student.

Minghao only gets two more bad days in the next three months, making it an average of once every two months. Both times, Jeonghan has to search through campus for him, and then bring him back home to the hospital where he’s promptly knocked out with all the morphine being pumped into him.

Minghao knows his time is running out, and begins writing his last few letters, deciding which photos to put in the envelope and where to give it to Junhui, at the moments where his guard is the lowest and hence would not notice him.

His scrapbooks are almost full now, and Minghao only has a week left to go at Pledis University. He has handed up his final assignments, just waiting for his results to come out. He spends as much time as he can outside, with his friends, or taking walks, just to feel the wind blowing and the sun shining, knowing that soon, he won’t be able to do so for a long time, or even forever.

It’s not as startling a thought as people might think it is, dying, that is. Minghao has lived his life with that threat of dying looming over him since he was fifteen, and has made peace with the idea of dying. He has managed to fulfil two out of three of his dreams, that’s good enough for him.

Still, he can’t help feeling some measure of sadness when he realises that this is all he’s going to get for a chance at a normal life, and it comes as no surprise when he breaks down in the middle of the night, calling Jeonghan and babbling to him tearfully.

Meanwhile, Jeonghan watches as Minghao grows more and more distant, ready to cut himself off from the group of friends he has laughed with, done silly things with, suffered with. The group of friends that he loves endlessly.

Jeonghan knows Minghao’s and Junhui’s past, and wants to tell the older so desperately, but Minghao made him promise, and he can’t break any promise he made to Minghao. (Well, he did break that promise about him not getting close to Minghao at the start of these six months, but he can’t help it. He’s worried.)

When Minghao breaks the news that it’s his last few days at the university, that he’s going somewhere else, everyone is heartbroken, but cannot do anything but accept it. Over the next few days, Minghao takes more photos than he has in a while, receives more presents from more people than he can imagine, and is generally happy with his life.

Finally, he takes his last step out of Pledis University, graduation certificate in his hand and Jeonghan by his side, and goes to face the music.

Before he goes in for his first treatment, though, he makes Jeonghan promise something to him. Jeonghan frowns, but agrees all the same. Minghao goes into the treatment room with a smile on his face.

-

The last letter, when it comes, is just like all the previous letters that Junhui has received from his secret admirer. His name is printed neatly on the envelope, and when he opens it, a short letter and a photograph falls out. He decides to read the letter first, and opens the folded piece of paper.

He is surprised to see that this letter is written in Chinese, when the others were written in Korean.

_'I’m sure you’ve been wondering who I am,’_ the letter read. _'I’m sorry I haven’t been able to tell you, but now I will. I guess you’ve noticed that I know things about you that others may not know, the fact that you love caramel, the fact that you get a certain look in your eyes when you’re exhausted and desperate to complete your task, or even the fact that even more than dancing, you love theatre. I’m sorry that I can’t tell you my name, but I can assure you that you’ll know who I am to you when you look at the photo, as I’m sure you haven’t yet. Thank you for allowing me to know you, Wen Junhui. I’m glad to have known you, glad to know you haven’t changed since the last time I saw you._

_P.S. if you can’t figure out who I am, ask Jeonghan. Even if you have figured out who I am, go to him. He’s promised me to tell you everything.’_

As usual, there is no ending signature, nothing to tell Junhui anything about his secret admirer apart from the fact that he or she apparently knows Mandarin.

Furrowing his brows, Junhui picks up the photograph and feels his heart stop when he sees the picture. In it, placed against a black background, the white half of his pendant, the _yang_ to the _yin_ he carries around his neck where it remains closest to his heart, stares back at him.

Junhui sits back in his chair heavily, eyes glued to the photo. So his secret admirer is not so secret, but is in fact the best friend that he’d had to separate with when he had moved to South Korea. Somehow, he had found him, but didn’t want to reveal who exactly he was. Junhui’s eyes narrow as he ponders over a question.

_Why?_

Junhui has a feeling he has known who it is all along, and his subconscious has been trying to tell him of this fact. He thinks back to his childhood, and sits straight up again when the dots connect.

Xiao Hao. Possibly a nickname from a name that ends with Hao, just like his was from the last character of his name. Hao, from which the Korean character Ho is derived. Junhui knows only of one name that ends with 'ho’, and memories flash across his mind, slowly piecing together a picture.

Now that he has who his secret admirer is possibly figured out, Junhui goes to Jeonghan to ask two questions: Why did Myungho- no, Minghao, leave, and why did he not tell Junhui who he was before he left?

He has a sneaking suspicion that he’s not going to like the answer.

(He’s right. He really doesn’t like it. He’s out of his mind with worry and guilt as he stares at the photo of the pendant he knows Minghao is wearing, the white mocking him.)

-

Jeonghan isn’t surprised when Junhui asks to meet him at the campus cafe that they frequent. When the long-haired student walks into the cafe, he realises that Junhui is already there waiting for him.

Jeonghan goes to the counter and orders his usual, before sitting down opposite Junhui, who is staring pensively into his cup of coffee. Taking a large mouthful of his cappuccino latte, Jeonghan takes a deep breath before starting at the beginning.

As Minghao’s only confidante in the hospital, Jeonghan knows what has happened ever since Minghao was first diagnosed with cancer, and he promised Minghao to tell Junhui everything when the older Chinese student approached him, no sooner, no later.

Junhui listens quietly, cup of coffee left untouched the moment Jeonghan sat down. He doesn’t interrupt until Jeonghan finishes, and even then he only asks one question, voice quiet. “Can I see him?”

Jeonghan looks into Junhui’s eyes, sees the sadness, the worry, and dare he say it, the love in them, and nods, standing up and making to leave. Junhui follows quietly, until they reach the hospital, where Junhui is brought to Minghao’s room, where Minghao is sleeping after having gone through the first few rounds of the experimental treatment.

It’s only been two weeks since Minghao officially graduated from Pledis University, but he already looks a lot slimmer than he was already. The whitewashed walls of his room along with the sheets make him look pale, as if just waiting for death to come along and take him away. Junhui watches the younger, sitting at his bedside quietly.

He looks down at his hands, examining the object that Jeonghan had handed to him before he left him to do his rounds. He turns the _yang_ pendant over, and brushes his thumb across the smooth surface, before he removes the _yin_ half from around his neck to fit the two halves together.

As expected, they fit like pieces in a puzzle, and Junhui smiles down at the pendants, fondly recalling the moment that he first got the pendant from Minghao. He looks back up at Minghao, holding the two pendants tightly, and whispers, “You have to get better, Minghao. Please, get better.”

The words echo around the room, and there is no reply.

-

It’s been three months since Minghao started the experimental treatment, and Junhui has been coming over everyday to see him, regardless of whether the younger is awake or not when he visits.

Minghao always smiles a little brighter for Junhui, and the care and concern that Junhui shows for the younger is heartwarming to see. Minghao tries to mother Junhui as much as he can, trying to ensure that the older gets the rest and food he needs, and Jeonghan bosses both of them around, making sure that they take care of themselves while they take care of the other.

Their group of friends have been made aware of Minghao’s condition, and took turns visiting him everyday, the raucous bunch telling him funny stories about what happened on campus and other nonsense. Minghao tries to keep up with them, but almost always ends up falling asleep with Junhui by his side as soon as they leave the room.

Junhui always brings fresh flowers with him, a bouquet of yellow tulips that brighten the room. When a nurse gets curious enough to ask him why yellow tulips, he smiles shyly and asks her to search it up online.

When she does, all the nurses that previously took care of Minghao like he was their own child soon adopt Junhui as well. A boy that brings a bouquet of flowers that mean hopelessly in love every time he visits is a boy worth caring for, and Junhui accepts the mothering bashfully, thankful for this group of people that cared for Minghao when they were apart.

One day, Junhui wakes up to beeping sounds that he knows are not supposed to be there, having fallen asleep at Minghao’s bedside after arriving straight from class. He presses the emergency button hurriedly, watching helplessly as Minghao starts thrashing.

The nurses burst into the room, and Junhui is chased out, ending up pacing the floor outside Minghao’s room. Both pendants are clutched tightly in his hands, Minghao having given him his half for safekeeping 'until I get better, Junhui-ge’. “You promised you’d get better, Minghao. You have to keep the promises that you make,” Junhui whispers.

Jeonghan runs up the hallway, and draws Junhui into a tight hug. “He’s gonna be alright, you just wait. He’s gonna be fine. He’s stronger than the both of us, you know that. Besides, he has all of us now, but most especially you. He’s not going to leave you now of all times,” Jeonghan reassures him.

Junhui nods tightly, and settles in with Jeonghan on the uncomfortable seats to wait for Minghao to stabilise.

-

“Jeonghan-hyung, we’re going to be late to our own graduation!” Seungkwan yells at the older guy still strolling along. “It’s your graduation, not mine, Seungkwan. I graduated two years ago, remember?” Jeonghan reminds the younger cheerfully.

“Well, yeah, I know that, but this year is going to be the first time we’ll get to see them perform together! We have to hurry, if not we’ll miss it!” Seungkwan says impatiently, going as far as to push Jeonghan from behind, trying to speed up their pace, “The others are already there, and they told me that it was going to start soon! I can’t be late!”

“Alright, alright,” Jeonghan laughs, picking up the pace. Honestly, he can’t wait to see the performances as well.

-

“For the final performance of the annual graduation showcase, two of our alumni will be performing ’ _Yin and Yang_ ’. Please put your hands together to welcome them!”

As the applause dies down, the music starts. The stage is dark, but slowly brightens just enough to show the audience the two silhouettes, facing each other. The beat thrums through the hall as the two dancers begin moving, and it’s immediately apparent that their dancing styles are different.

One is like fire, each move hinting at a fierce energy, ready to be unleashed at any time. The confidence is apparent in every movement he makes, and every movement is sharp and hits hard, making all the more impact when he moves according to the heavy beat of the music.

The other is so unlike the first one, his moves fluid and smooth. His movements are seemingly soft as compared to the first dancer, but are equally as impactful. He’s like water, blending the first dancer’s sharp movements with his own and tying both them and the audience into the music, captivating them.

Just as the two dancers slow down, the music slows down as well, changing in key and tempo, before the lights brighten and the performers are shown to the audience. One of them has their back faced to the audience, but Junhui’s face is put into sharp contrast as he smirks at the audience.

He dances as if his life depended on it, puts a flair into every single movement that he makes, and knows that this is the best performance he’s ever going to be able to put up. He dances like air now, his movements occasionally unpredictable and he drifts across the stage, as constantly changing as the wind. His last movement brings him side by side with the second dancer, tapping him on the shoulder and freezing in that position.

The second dancer swivels around to face the audience, and Minghao bursts into action. Now, Minghao is earth, each of his breakdancing moves strong and powerful. He launches into flips, and the audience cheers, feeding off the energy the music and their performance is giving them.

Minghao finishes next to Junhui again, hand outstretched and reaching towards Junhui’s hand that is still poised in the air, and the beat of the music changes again. The two of them start circling each other, eyes meeting.

The bass of the music rings through every person in the hall, and the two of them start dancing in counterpoint to each other again, so different in movements and yet at the same time balancing each other out, once again ensuring that the performance is riveting.

They finish their performance facing each other once more, chests heaving as the lights go out and the curtains close on the standing ovation that the audience is giving them.

-

Soonyoung and Chan bounds up to them backstage. “That was even better than I expected!” Soonyoung exclaims excitedly. “Better than the one the four of us did together?” Junhui teases, and Soonyoung scoffs jokingly, saying, “As if. My choreography is the best, and you know it!”

The rest of their group of friends crash into them, everyone congratulating them on their performances at the same time. Minghao had finally gone into remission a year and a half ago, a year after he started with the experimental therapy.

It had taken him the better half of a year to gain back the weight and muscle mass that he lost and regrow his hair, and the rest of the time was spent with their group of friends and reacquainting himself with the hobbies he thought he would never get to do again.

Minghao also had gone back to spend some time with his family in China, Junhui accompanying him. They went back to all their childhood haunts, recollecting memories with each other and laughing themselves silly over the stupid things they used to do.

This year had seen Seungkwan, Hansol and Chan graduating, and it was the first time Minghao could join the rest in performing, hence all the excitement. As the group of friends crowded the four performers and a group hug was initiated, two pendants hit each other with a soft 'clack’, the two owners looking at each other and beaming at each other.

Minghao leaned in for a kiss as soon as the group hug had broken up, and Junhui indulged him fondly, tucking him into his side after kissing him soundly. Minghao laughed as their friends leered at them, hooting loudly, before chattering on, joining into the conversation loudly.

In the end, Minghao had fulfilled the three dreams that he had always carried with him. He had graduated from university, which allowed him to meet his second family, found his childhood friend (and love), and most importantly, had gone into battle with his illness and won.

As far as it went, Minghao was happy, and all was well.


End file.
